We're facebook friends in real life
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
