if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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