You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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