I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
