I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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