Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
