hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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