im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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