Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm super disappointed in my clit.