Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.