Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/f8bv

Replies (3) Good night (847) Bad night (1126)
Favorite
(805): View more from California

saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken http://tfl.nu/k7ra

Replies (20) Good night (745) Bad night (3556)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex http://tfl.nu/na8l

Replies (58) Good night (6297) Bad night (996)
Favorite
(660): View more from Missouri

We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(660): We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out http://tfl.nu/p80s

Replies (3) Good night (5448) Bad night (1303)
Favorite
(772): View more from Florida

I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(772): I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up" http://tfl.nu/z0ws

Replies (12) Good night (2263) Bad night (962)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us? http://tfl.nu/gp4k

Replies (5) Good night (4187) Bad night (1196)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass? http://tfl.nu/vxrr

Replies (16) Good night (1137) Bad night (2353)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x

Replies (7) Good night (2054) Bad night (932)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma http://tfl.nu/lbww

Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (450)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!" http://tfl.nu/0j2g

Replies (16) Good night (1656) Bad night (608)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free http://tfl.nu/f62q

Replies (9) Good night (2264) Bad night (494)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?

(1-480): View more from Arizona

Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me? (1-480): Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out? http://tfl.nu/ggfq

Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (516)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

Sex is always the answer.

(630): View more from Illinois

Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): Sex is always the answer. (630): Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year? http://tfl.nu/kqhl

Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (433)
Favorite
(269): View more from Michigan

Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(269): Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward? http://tfl.nu/adfm

Replies (7) Good night (947) Bad night (426)
Favorite
(413): View more from Massachusetts

He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

I mean I thought it sounded fun

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(413): He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird (1-413): I mean I thought it sounded fun http://tfl.nu/utsu

Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (187)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard