i permit you to call me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
