Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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