dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
