He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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