If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
