Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
