thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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