Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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