I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
