The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
