When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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