lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
