Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
