There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
