non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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