I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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