id be glad to
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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