Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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