My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
