Barsexuality is the new black.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
