I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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