i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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