sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
