I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
