I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
