i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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