i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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