physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
