she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
