Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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