now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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how drunk are you?
Several
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize