The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
