Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
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As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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