quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
