Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
