smell my finger.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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