So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
