new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
