I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
