Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
