I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
