She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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