In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
