just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
