I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
