party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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