I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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