absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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