R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize