we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
