We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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