I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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