you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
