Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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