Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
