I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
