He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
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I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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