we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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