return my video game
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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