24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
